What do WOMEN really want as opposed to need from a MAN!!

There sure as hell are no secrets to the wants and needs of women.  Women across the globe will contiguously go on a rant about how they want a GOOD MAN!! But the question still lurking is what do women really want and need from a man?  To my understanding...you could do like Chile (from TLC)  and have an unrealistic laundry list that would then label you as shallow OR you could work with what you have and make it right for you!!

Alright, so here's a list of 10 things that I look for in MY man and believe me, long as I do my part...he's sure to do his!!  Others may agree or disagree but again, this is what works for US as well as me getting my needs met!

1. A man of GOD....this is first and foremost.  And I don't mean he has to go to church every Sunday or anything in that manner, however I want to know when I'm ready to pray or expect him to pray for my family he is willing and perfectly able to do so!! I want him to know that GOD is his first true love and to put him as top priority before all decisions are made or even when we are at a HIGH point as opposed to our LOWS.  If this is brought up in the beginning of any relationship...the rest will follow.

2. A man that will be THE MAN! This is crucial to a point where I'm a vulnerable female at times.  Not saying I'm never strong, however, I need a ROCK that will hold it all together when everything else crumbles.  In the same breath, a man who is not afraid to admit his wrongs or what he is incapable of doing.

3. A man who is Passionate....if there is something that he may want to pursue, I will support it as long as it is right for him and our family.  He just has to have the PASSION for it.  It's one thing to dream a billion dreams & never put in any effort of making it happen, but if I can see the PASSION in his eyes, I'm all for being supportive and a motivator.  I'll be your biggest fan!

4. A family guy!! I am sooooo the family person and to have a man care so much about his own is a feeling among others that one may never be duplicated.  Family should be EVERYTHING just as God should, and when you are young and in love, sometimes a child will stir things up for better or for worse, however, a child never asks to be a part of this world! It is up to the creators to care for them just as they would want someone to do for them.

5. A man who has a BIG heart!  yeah that may sound really wack, but ya know what, without a big heart there is bound to be turmoil. You don't have to give the world, but if I see your effort, it's a win-win situation.  A man with a big heart shows me that his EGO would be up for a great fight.

6. A man who's not afraid to show his KINKY side....AGAIN because in my previous blog to the TOYS, do not take what I say out of context.  When I say Kinky I mean willing to enjoy a million and one other things than just a stationary position as well as doggy style in the bedroom....Like let's go outside, on the porch...where ever the mood is right.  Don't pass up on any opportunities cause YOLO right?!?! lol Nah but for real, As an ARIES FEMALE...boring is just NOT OUR THING.  And if you are the more dominant one...beware of the ARIES SPECIES cause they will ATTACK!

7.  A man with a SENSE OF HUMOR...It's one thing if you make me laugh...but if you make my stomach tight...legs curl because i'm trying to hold my pee in while cracking thee fuck up than that's even better.  I love to laugh and not all things are funny to me...however, my MOTTO has always been " Nobody has ever died of laughter, so LAUGH until there's no silly bones left" yeah I know that's corny but really...laughing is the greatest gift God could have given us and many don't use it to their advantage! A smile can take you a long way....

8. & 9. A man that Respects himself and is Loyal.  Ok so I have these 2 at the bottom of my list for 2 reasons.  One, in the beginning i stated I wanted a MAN OF GOD.  GOD IS LOYAL.  God is always there for us no matter what, even when we feel he has gone astray, he may have only left because our dependability has gone to MAN and not to him.  And Secondly, respects himself because out of all the men I have ever dated before getting married, they never really had respect for themselves.  It was more or less do what is HOT right now and try to fit in.  I'm all about standing out, and once a man can respect himself like a female should too, the trust, communication, everything again will be under one accord

10. A man who has trust and is capable of trusting.  I'm sure people are like wait wait, why is this last? Well to me, in the beginning of anything there is no trust there at all.  You are still filling one another out, so in my case, because I've been through situations where the man has been hurt and has caused pain also, I'd like to look at it as building that trust from the bottom up.  Trust is the root of any foundation, and well like a tree to grow you need to water it.  Relationships need the same thing when dealing with Trust.  It's delicate and needs to be handled with such care.


So there you have it, the 10 things that I have ever wanted and needed in a Man.  I'm still young and have a lot to go through, but I know that what I have presented, I have either gotten or am getting.  Being realistic with oneself is probably the hardest to do in this day in age, because everything is covered in bells and whistles.  Time to break the cycle and want for something worth while if you are planning to have a Fabulous future with a MAN and not a made up one that does not exist 

Are sex toys really only for girls when in a relationship?!?!

Before I dive into this topic please read - DISCLAIMER: If you feel what I say is out of context...do not read past this point.  I speak my mind when and how I want.  I feel I'm nothing but informative on an experiential level and just like to give my input on things that are normally discussed on a day to day basis.  I say what most are too afraid to talk about, where again if we are all adults here...it should be simple! TRUE ARIES BLOG

Now,  I'm not saying dildos in a mans booty hole is the movement...however, there are some cute lil gadgets  that a guy could use at the same time while pleasing his lady. I know some guys are like....FUCK NO!  But seriously...what would be the reason not to just try it out?  It couldn't possibly make you gay if you enjoy some extra sensation in areas that are as sensitive as your head....again, i'm not talking fun stuff for that manhole...to each his/her own if you suggest it...but I'm saying there are rings to go around the shaft etc.  I'll provide just a couple examples...and who knows maybe one of these days i'll have my own lil pleasure party for those that may want to discreetly buying some goodies =) 

For the right kinda guy! 

Now this blue toy is what I am talking about  for men.  Give it a try and see what you think. The round ring goes around the base of the shaft. there's a lil button that starts a vibration.  No reason to be nervous or shy about it...I've always believed that as open as you can be in the bedroom it will manifest into a great relationship with your partner.  Think about it...if you have the worst bedroom activity going on from head game to riding pony's don't you think it's time to change up a bit? Add some excitement? For Real...the less pleasure you get out of your love...the more cranky... irritable and not in the mood they will become.  Trust me I KNOW!!

Sexual frustration is thee worse..however if you are bored in the bedroom that could be just as bad! Being more open-minded helps bring out new opportunities and will have your communication level at an all time high!

Have some control 

Now these last 2 are more for the control of things. Either have the vibes of music reach both the male or female sensitive areas on the same beat. And then there's the remote control ring, Who wouldn't want to control their mans' sexual pleasure while at dinner, a movie or even in the car if you don't feel like using your head?!?!  There are some for women remote controlled toys as well.    I know Kandi Burroughs' ( of Housewives of Atlanta & Escape) website http://bedroomkandi.ohmibod.com/  has quite a bit of interesting toys to play with! I say go for it....if it's sex that you want why not add some extra pleasure!  Again men, don't be so hesitant to try...or at least give some extra teasing to ya lady with one of her own!!

Music anyone?

women's treasures 

"Men will change for the women worth changing for!!"

Steve Harvey really had my attention this morning...I love his goofy ass, but even more I love when he can put a MAN & WOMAN in their place.  Others will disagree cause they hate to hear the truth about themselves, but I like to keep an open mind on what he has put on the table! 


Today's Strawberry letter I didn't catch, but I remember hearing Steve say " Men will change for the women worth changing for."  Of course it could go the other way too....but some women can be so eager to change the man they are with.  I too was one of those woman, and I will tell you IT WILL NEVER WORK! I mean a common mistake that we as women make is ASSUME our men will understand what it is we want from them.  No Man will understand a women fully, and nor will a female understand men completely.  The point is to just accept them as who they are or move on...POINT BLANK(.)









Another thing I've noticed is while trying to CHANGE the person one is with, he/she may lose site of themselves.  Some people  become so wrapped up in who they are dating and that persons everyday life they  forget to make sure they are happy within oneself. I've done this...but am learning that if you really want someone to meet your standards or just change a certain way about them....BECOME AN EXAMPLE!  If you want something out of someone, why not show them exactly what it is that you are reaching for.  If you want honesty...become honest with YOU first and show them how easy it is to just say what you are feeling.  To me,  honesty can come from a feeling within...not just an action that could have previously taken place.  

Lastly,  become an example by communicating, being loyal, and anything that you could ever want in a person.  If you see first hand that someone has the potential to be either the man/woman of your dreams or just some easy fuck...then hey that's your prerogative just don't complain that he/she isn't the one for you.  You can almost tell from the jump if someone is worth your time or not.  You may not fall in love right away, but people can grow into that through the years.  




 I've once said..."if you change the way you think...you will change the way you live," in fact if you change the way you think of others, it will change your entire perspective of them as well...but do it in a positive stride.  Change is inevitable...everyone is bound to do it...if you have the patience to withstand an unchanging man or woman then you can accept the fact that it's just not your call to change them!! 

The Convenience of a Bad Habit

Many times I fight with myself over things that I know I could change in a day as opposed to in a lifetime.  My reasoning for this strictly is because bad habits make it so much more convenient to be comfortable with a certain lifestyle but later find it even harder to overcome.


Example, if you go searching for something you are bound to find it....So very true.  But if you are looking to find something knowing it will make you more upset than that means STOP correct??!!?! Eh, yeah but when you have a habit of constantly looking for things whether to find truth, confirmation, anything...your mind is set for digging in deeper.

cell phones and privacy...how far do you go?

a lil white light won't harm anyone

Say you have a friend, who is ALWAYS lying like it never fails.... they have developed a bad habit and it's sad because after awhile their mind tricks them into believing that it's the RIGHT thing to do and hey some truth may come from that lie (so they think).  Don't get it twisted I'm no liar, and that's not the case here...just pointing out some examples.







My Bad Habit had me all fucked up plenty of times...and I'm always asked well why do I do it?  I think it's part of me wanting to be RIGHT about something and to prove it as well.  This is the battle I am having...because that type of power I know i can live without...I shouldn't care about proving anything to anyone...because once I know the truth it's then the question of "What you gonna do?"

I'm really working on channeling my BAD Habits to a more GOOD one.  I want to know that if I'm being repetitive in something that it will be beneficial and not painful to my well being.  This and fear are 2 of my biggest battles that I have everyday with myself.  But I'm making a habit to look at things in a different light.

But it feels soooo good lol

Change is not always a bad thing and I'm usually receptive of it because I plan on having lots of Good Habits in my near future...

Marriage covered with SEX

In my opinion, there are 2 things that are of most concern in our generational times other than MONEY and that is MARRIAGE and SEX.... If you look at our youth today or even most people in their late 20's early 30's, Marriage is not as much a priority as it was back let's say  in the 1950's or even 60's.  To me I feel SEX has suffocated the thought of even getting married nowadays.  Sex gives the idea of control over anything possible....Hey the more sex you could have with more random people, what's the use of getting married right??!!?

I can honestly say that people have been brain washed as what they see as being the most probable way of thinking that sex is better than love.  I mean from experience, wouldn't you rather have sex with the one you could spend the rest of your life with???

Ok that seems like another fairy tale question I'm sure, but I'm saying rather than get so tied up and hooked into what the WORLD perceives as the RIGHT THING try finding what is right for YOU.  Often times, the female community will get so eluded into the entertainment world that they may never know what real love feels like, hence that puts a HAULT for them to ever consider jumping the broom because single life is the way to go.  Watching a show and expecting your life to be so identical to their reality and not your own really stops these women from ever being truly happy with even themselves.  As these REALITY women contiguously flaunt how much sex they can have enjoying the single life...what about morals set for a better future???  In the same breath....most men look at marriage as a financial BINDING as opposed to the FINANCIAL success one could acquire.  They look at the NO MORE LATE NIGHT OUTTINGS with the guys as a set back but don't realize there are beautiful women that would allow them to still BE A MAN...Roles are changing everyday I get that...but let's not exclude what a good thing could really feel like. Alright, ....enough with all the preaching...but seriously...Marriage can be just as much exhilarating and the sex could be even better but again I'm only speaking from my point of view.